Right now am I feeling very overwhelmed. I start taking the medications on Thursday (very nervous about that-mostly the reactions), the deadline to have our money in is fast approaching (August 30th), and on Friday we received news that the ICSI procedure that we thought was going to be half way, is actually going to be FULL price AND we can not apply for ACCESS. Nic called ICRM and explained to them the information we received and there simple answer was "Sorry, you were given wrong information and that's not how things work." So that means we have to come up with an additional $850, making our actual total for the whole procedure a little over $6,000 AND we will now have to pay full price for all the additional services. Never mind that the aforementioned total does NOT include additional blood work and ultrasounds (3 or 4 more) that I will get before the procedure. Nor does it include the anesthesia, or the lab fees for the hatching process. The total does not include the embryo storage. Bottom line: the total really doesn't include "the total." BLAH!!!!!
To date, we have paid over $3,500-about half of which we received from friends and family and the other half Nic and I some how came up with. If you were to ask me how, I wouldn't be able to tell you. It was as if money just suddenly appeared. But right now I'm having a hard time believing that another $6-$8,000 is just going to fall from the sky.
We were hoping that we would be able to come up with all the money and not have to finance it, but it's looking like we're going to have to. Which makes me nervous. That's a lot of money, especially where we are still trying to pay off our car (which we will probably end up selling in hopes of getting the value of it, paying off the loan and putting the remaining amount towards IVF. A girl can hope, right?). I guess the "upside" to financing it is that we will have more time to do fundraising.
The only thing that has pulled with me through is faith. A LOT of faith. Well, faith and prayer. It seems since Friday I have been praying every spare minute I have-in the shower, rocking baby girl to sleep, driving, doing dishes (okay, I don't do dishes very often, but when I do I'm praying), cleaning up after Hurricane Baby G hit the living room. . .I'm praying everywhere. I have felt comfort and peace, but then I start thinking about things again and fear and doubt creep in.
I know it will work out. I just have to keep telling myself "Heavenly Father hasn't brought us this far for things to fall apart." But can I ask for a couple of things: prayers. I felt the strength of prayers from our friends and family while we were in the hospital for a few days after Baby G was born. I know there is strength, comfort and peace in prayers. And finally, if you're distant relative of mine or Nic's and you have a few thousand dollars to spare, could you send some dinero our way? ;)
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